Getting organized to ensure the rest of our trip would be a relaxing vacation started with a trip to the local mecardo to stock up on food we would need. Once everything was put away, we walked down to the beach and immersed ourselves in the welcoming Caribbean. Although warmer than any we experience along the Pacific Northwest's coast, the water was a welcome reprieve from the hot and humid air temperature. We spent the rest of that day lounging lazily, not only because we could but because we had no energy to do anything else. After dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, we returned to where we were staying to settle in for the night.

The living room air was thick with humidity. I showered first and decided to stretch out and find something in English to watch on the TV while Hubs took his. Thankfully just enough of a breeze came from off the water and wafted into the living room through the slider door screen to make it temperate. 

Sitting peacefully in the flickering glow of the TV light, I thought I noticed something moving out of the corner of my eye. I did not rush to any conclusions at the time as TVs tend to exhibit a flickering light more noticeable when all other lights are off, which in this instance was the case. Reflecting on the events, I'm sure exhaustion had taken over. Under normal circumstances, I would never have taken so long to react.

What I had believed to be a flickering light emanating from the TV screen was a skewed judgment call on my part. Subconsciously I knew the TV's flickering and blinking lights would not suddenly become distinct rapid movements heading right at me in a breakneck run. Fortunately, my survival instinct switch flipped on when my tired eyes saw a large object moving in my direction at a meteoric speed.

I will use the automobile on my imaginary scale to add perspective to the size of this new intruder's length. The Volkswagen Bug will represent the shorter length, and the Hummer will reflect the longest. 

Using this scale, the Hummer would represent the size of the object I encountered that night. From what I could see, it was dark in color, possessed a sizable girth, and was frightfully swift. Its long antennas twitched frantically in all directions. I had no time to question the unconstrained misfortune enwrapping me as I witnessed this unidentified creature running straight toward me along the top of the white sectional sofa. Terror filled me at the prospect that this hideous creature and I faced impending physical contact as it raced toward my hair. This led to my extrication from where just a moment before I had sat comfortably and, subsequently, landed me eight feet away in the doorway to the bedroom, frantically seeking other refuges.

Although I know something came out of my mouth, whatever cleared my lips is unclear. I've been told I screamed, but I don't remember it. I only remember hearing Hubs yelling from the shower, "Are you okay?"

My response was something along the lines of "BUG! BIG - BIG BUG!" 

In my case, the innate primal "fight or flight" instinct would be better described as the fright or flight mode. I attribute the latter to saving me from nothing short of this behemoth bug getting snarled up in my hair. Because of that, as it happened earlier that morning, I miraculously found my body capable of providing me the agility of a gazelle, thus affording me a quick escape. Reflecting on what could have unfurled had this ginormous bug ended up in my hair evokes visions of my swirling out of control, beating myself about the head until I or the bug would die. Gratefully that was not a necessity. Most of what happened immediately after my initial escape is a blur. I watched it drop to the floor and start to head out of my area of vision. 

Something about the thought of such a creature touching me awakens the sensitivity of my skin to a level I do not possess under normal circumstances. Now though, with it having been so close to being not only on me but in my hair, there was not an inch of skin I was not keenly aware of.  

Mustering up every ounce of courage I could, I knew I had to return to the living room to keep track of where it went. Twitching like a paranoid schizophrenic, I inched my bare feet around the corner, every step more terrifying than the last until I spotted it. There it was, staying perfectly still next to the entertainment center. I may not have seen it except for the movement of its unusually long antennas. They were moving in a fashion giving the impression they could sense my presence or were at least trying to locate my whereabouts. I halted all movement and held my breath. We stood perfectly still, our standoff making the humid air seem even thicker. The only action in the room was the flickering light from the TV, the twitching of its antennas, and the beating of my heart. 

Not knowing what he would face, Hubs thought it best to pull on his boxer shorts but had no time to rinse the shampoo out of his hair. With his hair going every which way, covered in shampoo, the bubbles running down his neck onto his chest and back, Hub's facial expression could only be described as revealing shock and confusion. Without making a sound, I pantomimed to him where the bug was. Earlier that day, I had secured a plastic bowl with an opening of about eight inches and a height of approximately ten inches and placed it on the kitchen counter. I remembered how I had told myself I would not be caught off guard again, particularly after the scorpion fiasco of that morning. 

Pantomiming to each other, Hub's gingerly entered the living room, not knowing what he would find. I inched my way to the kitchen to retrieve the bowl I had procured earlier. Knowing Hubs was there gave me a sense of relief. I took my first breath when I handed him the bug entrapment vessel. Then I cautiously returned to the bedroom doorway to view the event, cheering him on while still being close enough to the bed to jump up on it if needed. 

Even though he spoke in a hushed voice, hearing Hub's response to seeing the bug for the first time did not encourage comfort on my part. When I heard him say, "Oh my God!" it induced an uneasy trepidation response on my part. There needed to be more time for formal plans or to rehearse calculations to maneuver this beast into the bowl and secure it for its safe release. Hubs, operating on impulse, became terrifyingly aware the bug was too.

Bugs have very tiny brains, and although Hub's brain is the right size for a grown man, the bug had different ideas about how everything would unfold. In its highest gear, the massive bug broke into an all-out run from a complete standstill position.  

Gyrating in all different directions, Hub's arms and legs flailed while he tried to keep up with his newest opponent. Wildly swinging the bug bowl from floor to wall and back again as the bug ran with the speed of light in every direction, with soap running down the length of Hub's body made for quite a sight. Suddenly, the bug took flight. Neither of us expected that, and once in flight, Hubs was dancing and dipping as once its wings opened, the bug's body grew significantly. Now, it flew up and down and around Hub's body. He was no sooner above him when he passed down to the floor and then up, flying right between Hub's legs. The bug flew out between his legs before I could relay that fact to him. I could only get the words out so fast, unfortunately not fast enough to prevent hubby from thinking that the bug was somewhere in his boxers between his legs, which caused the man to do the most unusual "Get the hell out of my boxers" dance. 

Realizing the bug was no longer near his person, Hubs and I knew that it was still on the loose, and neither of us had a clue as to where it was. Where could it have gone? Could it have made it behind the couch? Was it under the coffee table, or had it reached the entertainment center, where it would lie in wait? My purse lay open on the table. Oh God, I thought. Was it hiding in my purse, awaiting my reaching into the darkness to retrieve my hairbrush? Would that be how I would meet my demise as I ran the brush through my hair to come eye to eye with the bug the size of a Hummer? 

We turned on all the lights, and once we did, we had a slight advantage in trying to keep track of a rapidly moving dark object, which had been exceedingly difficult to do in a dark room. Every pillow and sofa cushion was lifted, shaken, and turned over, along with anything on top of any surface we could reach. There was no nook or cranny left unturned. All to no avail. We had no luck and no bug. We twitched and jerked our way to the bedroom, believing the bug had not found its way in there. Arriving at the unsettling conclusion the bug was safely secured in an unknown hiding place, we succumbed to surrender. Hubs returned to the shower. Keeping my eyes focused on the opening under the bedroom door and sitting like Budda, I waited for him on the bed. Hubs put a towel along the bottom of the bedroom door to calm me further. Then with both of us in bed, I covered myself so securely under the bedsheet I resembled a mummy. Eventually, we fell asleep.

More to come in Tropical Paradise Part 4